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Self care or selfishness?

Self care seems like a trendy word these days, or a popular movement, I should say. Self love, or self care is usually employed to describe practices or rituals or activities executed by a person, with only their well being in mind. It could encompass anything that is done for the simple pleasure of that particular individual. Isn’t it kinda selfish?

Self care or selfishness?

Absolutely not.

As social beings, we are constantly interacting with other humans; at home, perhaps, or at the grocery store, or at work, or at special events or on social medias… Our lives seem to revolve around who we are close (or not close) to and what we’re doing (or not doing) with them and what we’re saying (or not saying) to them. We tend to value the opinion of these beings who surround us and we tend to want to be liked or, even, loved, by these precious (or semi-precious) ones. Accordingly, we spend so much time and energy trying to please them.

It’s such a humane and kind desire to wanna please others and make them feel good and liked and beautiful and important. I mean, wouldn’t we do anything to hand over the moon and the stars and the sun to our most cherished ones? Wouldn’t we work hours and hours so that our boss will be satisfied and proud? Wouldn’t we get far out or our way to help our best friend move? Sure, because that’s what we’re supposed to do, because we love them, or because we need that job and because it is in many humans’ nature to wanna be helpful and give our precious time and energy to others.

But, don’t you forget one thing? Or one person?


In the whirlwind that life is, in the tornado where time seems to past by so, SO (too) quickly, we tend to give so much to others, to our jobs, our kids, that we forget ourselves! I feel that it could be one of the reasons why depression, anxiety, burnouts and other stress related ailments happen ; we, as an individual, go last. We’re, ourselves, at the bottom of our to-do list, last in priority. But, truth is, if we forget to care for ourselves, who will? I don’t think that leaning on others for such a personal matter is the healthiest option.

It’s time to take the unicorn by the horn and show some love to our beautifully unique, amazing and important self!

  • Make a small space in your agenda everyday, specifically dedicated to self care. Could be an hour or two, or even just 30 minutes, but create that space.

  • During that sacred time, choose something to do that really calls you, that really make you feel like the incredible human being that you are. Maybe it’s going to the gym or gardening or hiking or meditation or napping!

  • Whatever it is, make sure that you do it with only love and respect for yourself. Make sure that you listen to what you are deeply craving that day ; maybe sweating will do it, maybe resting will be best.

Remember that YOU DESERVE IT. There’s no need to feel guilty, or having thoughts that taking time for yourself is not productive or not useful. Because it so is. I think that literally our lives, or at least our happiness and well being depend on it: self care.

What do you do to show love for yourself?


Andy L.


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